Posted by: bellinghamweddings on: July 14, 2010
What is the difference between hearing and listening?
This is a question for which you will find many contradicting answers. Most people will say hearing is what you do passively all day – sound waves entering your ear and being perceived as sound, and listening is the willful and conscious act of attempting to understand what is heard. Makes sense, right?
But how many times have you sincerely tried to listen to you partner, but still didn’t understand what the heck they were saying? You listened, but you didn’t hear, because hearing involves understanding and acknowledgment. If your minds are on completely different wavelengths, no amount of listening will be able to adjust your brain to the right frequency to understand the intention, meaning, or feeling behind their words.
On the other side, to truly listen doesn’t mean you hunker down, concentrate, and analyze every word as it passes through your ear. To listen is to open your mind to receive the transmission, without judgment or preconception. Use listening as a gateway to your mind, where the gatekeeper ensures all the words are taken in, kept together, and in the right order before they are passed on to the brain to hear and perceive. Your only job while listening is to remember to wait until the entire message has been received before beginning to process it with your mind.
Hearing may in fact be the most difficult social skill to master because two people might say the exact same words to you, but with completely different messages. If you hear both of them correctly, your mind will know that the message depends on the person sending it and the circumstances under which it is sent.
